I thought I’d found my way back, little did I know that I was going to be lost for another three months. I visited this space often. However, every time I couldn’t find the words to express how I was feeling. I was standing still, waiting, unsure where to go.
Somehow these past few weeks, I felt myself slowly returning to the path I felt so far astray from. So today’s post will revolve around the proces of returning to your path, amidst the current global chaos.
When the first wave of the pandemic hit, we all got thrown into a forced silent retreat. At least, that’s what it was to me. Stuck inside, I only left for little walks, and I was convinced I could go do this… after all, I’d been on my own long enough walking during my Camino and other pilgrimages. And yes, I did manage, yet didn’t realise how much that was because I was holding on to the idea of everything going back to the way things were.
Then, when Amsterdam and other parts of the world, slowly opened up again I was faced by the fact that I’d been making up all sorts of stories to protect myself from having to deal with the idea that this situation would probably last a little while longer.
All of a sudden, the initial pause now felt like an eternity. I came to complete stop, plagued by the very persistent thought that my plans and intentions were unattainable!
The path I wanted the take no longer existed, it was obstructed, or simply impassible, and I was standing still at a crossroad, hoping it would reappear or be cleared in some sort of magical way.
It took quite a while to sink in, but when it finally did I realised how extremely silly this way of thinking was. Why on earth would I stand still here, if I could just take another route?
In resisting external circumstances, we often freeze and forget to look at the things we CAN influence in such situations. Shifting our mindset to one of acceptance, we allow ourselves to discover alternative ways to continue our path.
Instead of fighting against, we work with what is offered to us.
And yes, this path might take a little longer than the previous one, or it requires us to adjust our initial plans a little, but that’s all rather insignificant when we realise that we’re returning to that which we hold most dear: our journey, our path.
Happy to be back! Sending my love,