Today’s post is a more personal one. Sharing a little about my own everyday pilgrimage, I hope to shed some light on being lost – a feeling many of us experience once in a while.
Unnecessary additional weight?
It started on day one of my journey afoot to Monschau. An unpleasant feeling appeared out of nowhere, a feeling that I wasn’t heading in the right direction. All throughout this almost 200 kilometre pilgrimage, I carried it with me.
At first, I dismissed it as unnecessary additional weight. But the further I got into my journey, I started wondering: was it really that unnecessary?
Often, when strong feelings arise they are trying to tell us something. They want to be seen and heard, and sometimes they wish to be explored. Since I couldn’t just shake it off, I knew I had to walk with it.
When returning home, I thought it would fade as I assumed it had to do with my trip but the feeling remained. I was lost. I couldn’t figure out what the heck this feeling was nor why it didn’t go away.
So I started writing. Everyday I put my thoughts and feelings on paper. I sat with this feeling in meditation. Slowly, but clearly some overarching topics revealed themselves, and I finally started to figure out what this feeling was all about.
Although my pilgrimage to the Eifel was a fun outing, it wasn’t the journey I’d planned or wanted. Apart from that, it definitely wasn’t the kind of trip I needed right at that time. This feeling worked it’s way into the weeks after my return as I felt odd writing about it on my website or Instagram, whilst not emotionally connecting with it.
I did something that didn’t excite me. Continuing to talk and write about it, but not connecting to this particular journey with my heart, felt like I wasn’t staying true to myself. The unsettling feeling of being lost.
Finding your way back
This eyeopener instigated a larger exploration of the topics central to when a wayfarer.
What do I truly find important? Which direction do I want to take this blog?
Honestly, I haven’t figured it out yet what I want. But the sheer realisation of what you don’t want is already one step closer to figuring out what you do want. Once you recognise the need to change your direction, you’ve already found your way back.